Exploratory Surgery

I know people that have had exploratory surgery.  Personally, I'm not sure if I can think of anything more horrifying.  Even with all the progress of modern medicine, the concept of a doctor telling me "hey, I'm not sure what's wrong with you, so I'm just gonna cut ya open and fish around until I figure it out... "  No thanks.

And yet... I have tragic news.  I have received word that my beloved Greenzo will be having exploratory surgery.  For those of you not "in the know"... Greenzo is my half-joking-but-caught-on name for my bicycle.  This is a photo from the first day of RAGBRAI... you can probably tell from the photo the inspiration for the name:



and here we are at the Field of Dreams, almost all the way across Iowa...



don't worry... I was having a lot more fun that it seems... I'm just trying not to cry in the picture.   "Dad... wanna have a catch?"

Anyway, I love my bike.  And while that, in one sense, is a silly sentimentality... there is a certain nostalgic emotional connection between a boy and his bike.  When you get your first bike, it opens a whole new world of possibilities.  It is, in a very real way, freedom.  (which I've also been told is apparently "not free")

I recently read this article about the liberty that a bicycle provides... it's not incredibly well written, but hey... neither is this blog.  Clearly you're standards aren't too high.  Check it out.  It's a professional cyclist discussing how owning a bike changed his childhood.  Quote I like:

The ride is still about the adventure, the camaraderie and the sense of accomplishment. Whether it’s a trip to the end of the block, or across the Alps, the sensation is the same

My big trip with Greenzo is somewhere in between "end of the block" and "across the Alps"... it was a ride across Iowa called RAGBRAI (see link above).  I ended up cycling over 530 miles in a week across what is now one of my favorite states.  Yeah, that's right... I just said that Iowa is one of my favorite states.  Go ahead and let that marinate.  But seriously, it was an outstanding experience that I'll never forget.  Also, not our only adventure together.  I rode about 2500 miles in 2010... that's a lot of time in the saddle.  I have rich deep memories, a lot of time alone with my thoughts, and a lot of books on tape... and yes, an irrationally emotion connection to an bicycle.  But here's where it gets nostalgic...

My bike is sick.  There are some small cracks in the head tube.  I've been VERY careful with it (at this point, it's undoubtedly nicer than my car)... but the cracks developed, and I've contacted Cannondale.  I guess I assumed the response would be "Oh wow, hey, sorry about that, the bike is less than a year old and still fully warrantied against frame defects... so let's get you a replacement ASAP".  If I could drop some twit-speak: #assumptionfail



Ironically... or perhaps fittingly, the cracks are all over the Cannondale logo.

Cannondale has informed me that the bicycle is unsafe to ride (carbon fiber can fail rather catastrophically mid-ride... the results of which I'm told are highly unpleasant) and I will need to send it back to them.  Upon receipt they will cut it in half to inspect the carbon overlay in an effort to determine if it was an manufacturing default.  Or to put it more transparently "it's probably not our fault, but we'll pretend to double check in case you ask later."

I think the situation is more poignant and tragic because it's not going to a new owner or something... it's just going to be torn to shreds to "inspect the carbon overlay", and subsequently thrown into some scrap heap.  It's not even really exploratory surgery as much as an autopsy.  And aside from the tinge of nostalgia... there is the acute pain of having to pay for a new replacement frame... a very real possibility... and not a pleasant one considering what this frame cost less than 12 months ago.  Hopefully someone at Cannondale takes some responsibility and is able to replace the frame at no additional cost.

I hope I hope I hope they make it right.  Because I really can't wait to start riding again.  Right now there is no where I would rather be than on an sunny empty country road... churning away those gears... taking in the sights, sounds, smells around me... sweet sweet freedom.  I miss my bike.

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Rest day today.  Gotta save up knees for skiing, plus no time to work out with YL stuff tonight, and packing/getting ready the rest of the night.  Distance: 0

Food was not great today.  Oatmeal for breakfast, soup for lunch (delish, still), but Kel had made a (frozen) pizza when I got home so I had a small portion of that (not too much because I know it's unhealthy, but wanted to have some so it doesn't go to waste... cheapness and fitness... battling again).  I will be going to bed hungry, and a little guilty.  Food: C+

Magic number: 233.6 lbs still right there... we're a couple of days from me chopping off a couple fingers just to see a drop.  I mean, still in the 233's... c'mon!

Indecision

If you know me, and especially for those who know me well... you know that I am perhaps the most indecisive person in the history of existence.  I waste hours of research to buy pretty much anything that costs more than $25 (also, those who know me know I'm... err... thrifty?)  At any rate, that research time is compounded when I am looking at something more significant (both in usage and price) like camera gear or a bicycle.

Well, lately the item of my indecision has been running shoes.  Moderate stability?  cushioning?  blah blah blah... I'm sick of it.  In fact, the only person more sick of it is probably my friend Jeff, who I have been bothering on almost a daily basis.  Sorry Jeff.

Anyway, today I finally got some running shoes.  The ones I had been running in were at least two years old (probably closer to three), which apparently is bad, so I was due.  The shoes feel good... grabbed 'em at Dick Pond thanks to Groupon (and the fact that we were out of some stock for an REI prodeal).  I took them for a spin... and ran a good constant 5k with a strong finish.  Actually, a PR... but still slow enough that I'm not even sure if I'm allowed to type the phrase "PR".  Maybe we'll save track-speak until I'm sub-220... or I run a time I'm not embarrassed to share.  Anyway, still... felt good to run, and the knees held up.  Still a bit of a twinge of sorts, but not the significant pain of the past couple times.  Distance: 5k

Food was good... oatmeal, home-made chicken noodle, and stir fry over a 5-grain blend from Trader Joe's which I would *highly* recommend.  Only complaint is that I probably had too many Goldfish as a "side" to my soup.  As the song goes "I love fishes - so delicious.... I could eat goldfish all day, and my mom says that's okay... except when I eat like 400 because I can't stop".  Like just a couple of other things in life: not bad in moderation... probably not a super healthy thing to binge.  Food: B

Weight: 233.8 lbs. Am I plateauing at 233?  Because that would be crazy.  Crazy depressing.  I might work out again tomorrow (I wasn't originally planning on it - lots to do in prep for our flight out to Colorado for skiing... where I'm also hoping to drop some weight). We'll see...

Biathlon

I completed a biathlon today.  No, not the awesome winter Olympic sport (the most watched winter sport in Europe, incidentally).

I am still not running, thanks to the knees, but today I completed the first two lengths of a triathlon.  I got to watch the Bulls sweep the Heat while I spun through 22km (about 13.7 miles... took about 44 minutes... decent pace, actually).  Then I went for a swim.

Unfortunately there really doesn't seem to be a "norm" swim distance for the Sprint Triathlon... I've seen everything from .25km (crazy short) to .75km.  Specifically, the Naperville Triathlon does a 400m swim.  So I swam 500 meters.  In your face Naperville.  But really, that's not very far.  Nothing too crazy.  Eventually, I'd like each "workout" to be the distance of one leg of an Olympic Triathlon ... .75km swim, 40k bike, 10k run.  But not yet (at least not with running, that would have been a nice short bike ride last summer).  Distance: 13.7 mile bike / 500m swim

Food was good today.  Small granola bar for breakfast, big salad for lunch, and amazing home-made chicken noodle soup for dinner, prepared by the remarkably talented @KellyNicholas.  Home-made legit... I'm talkin' noodles from scratch over here!  Deeeeeeelicious!  Food: A-

I'm certainly improving from my Ron Swanson diet (although I did have eggs yesterday):

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FOzOxPtYFsg&w=640&h=390]

Weight ... 233.4 lbs

The Culprit (Part 1): Girl Scouts

I had a realization today.  I live in America... and as long as I am an American living in America, nothing is my fault.  So, the fact that I gained an embarrassing amount of weight since August can't be *my* fault... it must be the fault of others.  But who?

In this, the first installment of an investigative weblog mini-series dubbed "The Culprit", I will attempt to place the blame of my poor dieting and lack of fitness on other entities to assuage myself of guilt... and after all, it's the American way.

The first Culprit under investigation?  The Girl Scouts of America

That's right.  The insidious clan of pre-pubescent girls who sell impossibly delicious (and arguably addictive) cookies with a merciless efficiency that would turn even the brightest Hitler Youth green with jealousy...

Yes, it's Girl Scout Cookie season.  Or as we call it in my house "another reminder of Dan's inability to exercise will power."  Not only do the Girl Scouts have a fool-proof system of having adorable little kids selling cookies (for $27 a box, or whatever they're charging these days), but the cookies (drugs?) they are delivering (dealing?) are so addicting that the word "addicting" simply does not suffice.  They have a business model that would make Stringer Bell beam with pride.  Notably, they report $700 million profit and some former members have been known to use their considerable cultural and political influence to leverage a lucrative career with non-profit organizations... and the untold fame & fortune that comes along with it.

And I, like Bubbles, simply cannot resist.  When was the last time you had a Samoa?  I submit to you that it is, simply put, the best mass produced cookie in the history of cookies.  Delicious chocolate and caramel, a wonderful cookie crunch (like twix), and just the right amount of coconut.  I think, if left to my own devices, I could eat 7 boxes in an afternoon of watching basketball.  No, seriously, seven.  Somewhere in the high single digits (8 or 9 boxes... approaching that 120 cookie number) I might think "hmmm... this has been a lot of cookies, maybe I should take it easy", but I'd plow through at least the first 5 without even giving it a second thought.  I love cookies.

resistance is futile...

---

Food day was so-so... delicious scrambled eggs for breakfast, Chipotle-lite (last day of the 2-for-1) for lunch, and a healthy frozen dinner from Kashi while working at REI.  Also, I finished the Samoas.  Oops.  Food: B-

I was going to go for a swim today, but got caught up with some errands, watching MSU finish out the worst regular season I can ever remember, and then had to work at REI.  Distance: 0

Weight: 233.8 lbs - probably as a result of not eating much at all yesterday.  REAL hungry when I woke up.  (note: I do not believe starvation is a good/sustainable method for weight loss)...

Fat Friday!

I will keep this short today, mostly because I'm exhausted (pulled the REI post-work shift tonight).  I will have some more thoughts tomorrow.

I was reminded of it being Fat Friday at REI when I bought a pair of swim trunks for tomorrow's swim (trying to alleviate my battered knees)... This is what the tag looks like, courtesy of our friends at Patagonia:



If you can't tell (perhaps my hangnails are obstructing your view)... the size is XL.  Unless you live in Europe or Asia (Eurasia) ... then it's XXL.  Subtext: "Welcome to America, if this was any place else, you'd be fat!" ... or more aptly, perhaps "Welcome to America where you're already pretty fat, but anywhere else and you'd be REALLY fat!"  (as an aside, you might have noticed a few continents are missing from this tag... my guess is there is a chance they aren't selling a lot of Patagonia swim trunks in the continents not already mentioned).

Anyway, food wasn't great today, oatmeal for breakfast was good, but then a quick lunch on the run ended up being hardly anything, and dinner was a hamburger patty at REI (employee grill out to celebrate bonus checks) and a clif bar.  Not ideal.  Food: C+

I didn't work out today, just work.  Distance: o

Weight: 235.4 lbs ... 3 pound drop from last Friday.  Not bad.  "They" say you shouldn't lose more than 1% of your body weight per week (in the context of healthy weight loss), which makes sense to me, but I'm so far over what I normally weigh that I don't think it would hurt to lose a little more than that for the first few weeks here.  Anyway, decent progress... on we go... (I forgot to get a resting heart rate this morning, maybe I'll try tomorrow)

Ode to Blender

Only one beloved appliance in my kitchen truthfully supplies me with the following illustrious sentence:

I just ate half a bag of raw spinach, and it tasted like blueberries

Oh, Vita-Mix, how do I love thee? let me count the variable speeds...

Shall I compare thee to a swiss army knife of delicious nutritious food prep?

You blend in beauty, like the night... although usually in the morning for breakfast...

Really, I love my blender.  I would say returning a bunch of my unwanted wedding gifts to get the money to buy a refurbished Vita-Mix was one of my savvier purchasing decisions in the whole "registry" process.  (note: if you are reading this and gave us a wedding present and are contemplating whether you ought to be offended that I perchance returned it, rest assured: I did not return YOUR gift... I would never do that to you).

The Vita-Mix is one of the greatest inventions of the 20th century.  It has 2 horsepower.  TWO!  Think of the power that two horses generate... and that is what is spinning the blade that is dicing my fresh/frozer fruit/veggies.  Really, 2hp... that's pretty close to lawn mower power.  And those two horses spin the blades 240mph.  If the Vita-Mix were a car, it would be tied for #5 on this list of the fastest production cars in the world just ahead of the Ferrari Enzo.  At this point, you might be thinking "Dan, this is overkill"... to which I respond "no... this is Amuricka, where there is no such thing as overkill."  And if I want to belt out most of the words to the star spangled banner everytime I start my blender, and then let it run for an extra 20 seconds so that is pulverizes every raspberry seed so I don't get seeds between my teeth... then so be it.  (yes, it demolishes all the seeds in an extra 20 seconds.  really, this thing is unbelievable.)  It can also make hot soups, homemade almond/peanut butter, pesto, salsa, and about a million other things.

As I mentioned above (and in previous posts) I've been on a smoothie kick for breakfast (and sometimes lunch).  I go with a mixture of berries (blue, rasp, and/or straw) a little juice or sometimes unsweetened soy milk for blending purposes, and then sometimes a light "greens & whey" protein/vitamin supplement powder that helps it be more of a meal replacement.  Delicious & healthy.  But lately I've been upping the ante by including some fresh vegetables.  Really, it's the same principle as when I used to hide my dog's heart worm medicine in peanut butter... the idiots never see it coming!  I can dump a ton of fresh greens in the blender and sure my beautiful red smoothie turns a bit of a weird grayish brown, but it still tastes the same.  When you have that strong berry flavor, it overpowers pretty much everything... spinach, broccoli, & sprouts included.  Check it out.  Volume = mostly spinach, taste = mostly berries:



Yup, tastes like berries.  Delicious.

Food was good today... oatmeal for breakfast, smoothie for lunch and seared tuna steak on a salad for dinner: Food A-

I had to stop short (not a Frank Costanza reference) on my run.  Knees were REALLY hurting... think I will take a few days off and try swimming/biking for my planned workouts... need to save the knees for an upcoming ski trip.  Distance: 2 mi.  (and I walked a decent bit of it... limp/ran the rest... it hurt a lot)

Weight: 235.8 lbs (my first rise... no doubt thanks to the unstoppably delicious cheesy rolls at our anniversary dinner... wooooorrrrrth it.

3 Years!

That's right, today is our anniversary... 3 years!  Wow... time has flown (and other various clichés).  But in all seriousness, Kelly is a truly amazing person.  It's been a great three years and each has been better than the last.  She is so gracious, patient, caring, and supportive almost to the point of foolishness.  She is a remarkable person, and I'm thankful for her far beyond my ability to express in words.  I'd be a mess without her.

So how to celebrate?  Well, can I interest you in a little mercury poisoning?  That's right, we went out to our favorite seafood place!  Yahoo!  (and don't worry, we're still way behind our parents' generation as far as heavy metals currently in our system... thanks to lead paint/gasoline and other fun industrial shortcuts).  It was, in the words of Tyler Florence, "absolutely delicious".  Can't wait to go back.

Today will be a difficult food grade because, as a quick reminder, I'm grading on enjoyment as well as nutritional value.  With that in mind, we went out to seafood and I had the parmesan-crusted grouper with a side of broccoli instead of going out to a steakhouse and getting a steak with a side of twice-baked potatoes.  While I knew I was going healthier... it was still a "night off" so to speak, as evidenced by overall consumption in general, and specifically one particular pre-dinner item...

Reel Club also serves these diabolically delicious cheese roll-puffs before the meal, and I might have eaten about 83 of them.  I don't know how they make them, but they're a little bigger than a golf ball, and it's a bread-type-roll-thing... but is pretty much hollow and the inside is delicious buttery cheesy goodness (not filled, but just sort of lining the inside of the "puff").  I realize this is not well-described, but I've also never seen/tasted anything quite like it.  They are crazy delicious, and while I did not scour the restaurant for nutritional information, I suspect they might not be excessively healthy... especially when consumed by the dozens.  We also had some seared ahi for the appetizer and I had a beer (Noble Pils from Sam Adams... paired well with the fish).  I'm not sure if I could have enjoyed the meal any more... it was spectacular.

So... A+ for enjoyment, obviously, but I'm in a conundrum for nutrition, and thus, overall grade.  I'd say nutrition is about a C or so, and brought up a bit by me having light/healthy breakfast and lunch.  So, final for the day?  Grade: B (but a weird B... like acing the final after not turning a single paper all semester).

I ran before we went out.  Knees were killing me.  Not sure if that's just "hey you're fat and your knees aren't used to this" or "hey you're slowly destroying your knees, maybe you should do something else for a little bit".  I'm maybe about a week from having someone look at them... most of the pain is along the inside portion of the knee (like between the kneecap and the side of the knee... that area), which is a weird spot to have knee pain.  Distance: 5k

Starting to see some progress, I'm in one notch on the belt already... 235.4 lbs

(This post was partially written on the morning of the 1st, and finished up on the 2nd.  It was meant to be posted on the 1st, but I wasn't about to blog instead of celebrate our anniversary.  All this to say, I'm back-posting it a day so it will show as written on the 1st)